Making friends as an adult is hard. But the humble office can overtake the trials and tribulations of the playground to help you forge forever bonds that last a career. 

Starting a new job can unearth all kinds of feelings of excitement, anxiety, and apprehension.  

Like, who are you going to eat lunch with now? 

Whether you’re an introvert, an extrovert, or somewhere in between, here’s our guide for how to make friends in a new office, even when you work from home. 

1. Be authentic 

You might think the easiest way to make an impression on new colleagues is to paste a cheesy grin on your dial and smile your way through the day. Making friends isn’t about being ‘warm’ and ‘smiley’ if that’s not natural for you. Making friends happens when you are authentic, and you make an effort to connect with your peers. That may mean letting your guard down from time to time. 

Observe your new environment and get a feel for how people interact, the different social cues and general ‘vibe,’ so you can contribute to conversations meaningfully. 

2. Learn people’s names (and say them out loud in conversation) 

Humans are self-involved beings, and nothing makes us happier than hearing our name said out loud. As Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, said, “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” 

Obviously, you don’t want to go OTT and freak people out, repeating their name at every third word like a stage five clinger. But if remembering names is something you struggle with, this is one memory game you’ll want to play to make the greatest gains in connection. 

3. Give out compliments like candy 

That is, give praise where praise is due to ensure authenticity. In the moment peer-to-peer feedback is just as meaningful as management feedback. Embrace the opportunities to show people you’ve noticed them and offer positive support and reinforcement. 

Unfortunately, people more openly express negative feedback than they do compliments, so this is one way to be the light in someone’s day. 

4. Ask questions about the other person

Humans are self-absorbed, remember? So, next time you’re in a conversation with someone, try turning the spotlight on them. Ask them questions in a genuine attempt to get to know them better. 

You don’t need to make things too personal (especially if that may mean ten minutes of glazed eyes, scrolling their ‘children-doing-everyday-things’ camera roll). You could express an interest in their opinion on a work matter or scout their favourite cuisine so you can invite them for lunch. Who hasn’t bonded over a good curry? 

5. Join or create a social chat channel 

Especially in the days of hybrid and remote work, extra effort must be made to connect socially online. In the office, it’s easy to slip into non-work conversations while you’re queuing at the microwave to reheat your tuna bake – whether it’s the latest Bachelor drama or heightened sporting rivalries. In the remote world, interactions are generally all scheduled video calls to discuss project updates or company news, leaving little opportunity for organic, random chatter.

Start or join a slack channel aligned with your special interests and hobbies or try to participate in general chew-the-fat-rants-about-life-dramas-and-curiosities. It may seem frivolous, but it’s where true connections are made. 

Work friendships bring so much value to our lives (not to mention, make the working at work part much more enjoyable!). We spend so much time ‘at work,’ which is why it’s important to understand and connect with the people you spend your time with.